Batman and Superman are two of the most iconic characters in comic books. The two have often worked side by side and have battled each other with the same hatred they hold for their enemies. Who would win in a fight between the two has been answered several times before, but today I plan to answer which of the superheroes would make a better boyfriend.
Superman: Superman loves to play up his super powers when romancing a girl. His prospective girlfriends can expect anything from a moonlight flight over Metropolis to a super-speed trip to see exotic sights. After that he can impress her with some feats of strength and quickly stop a crime in progress all while maintaining his pretty boy looks.
Batman: Batman would never use all of his bat-gadgets to get the girl. After all if Bruce Wayne picked up the girl in the Batmobile she would be impressed but his secret identity would probably be obsolete. Bruce would pick up his girl in either his newest sports car or a decked out limo. They would eat at the most expensive restaurant in Gotham and then attend the most exclusive party in town. Unfortunately, the night would end fairly early because Bruce Wayne needs to get the girl home before one of his villains randomly starts shooting up the place (which tends to happen a lot).
Winner: Superman – Riches can get you a lot in this world, but there is nothing that impresses quite like superpowers.
Superman: Mild-Mannered Clark Kent grew up on a farm and became a reporter. He defiantly isn’t rolling in the money and most likely barely pays for his own upkeep. His constant disappearing from work to fight monsters doesn’t exactly help his job security. His girlfriend will have to be fine with taking care of herself because Superman is hardly a bread-winner.
Batman: Bruce Wayne is the richest guy in Gotham City. He sits around recovering from his fights and barely ever makes it into the office and still manages to earn millions of dollars. He lives in a mansion, has a large collection of exotic cars and wine, and he even has a loyal butler. His girlfriend gets to enjoy all of that without even knowing about the secret cave under his house. I’m a guy and I wouldn’t say to no if old Brucey promised me all that for some sweet loving.
Winner: Batman – A reporter really can’t compete with a man with his own butler.
Superman: Clark is more loyal than a needy dog. He has been all about Lois Lane from day one, even when she was in love with Superman and thought Clark Kent was a giant tool. Superman is really the long haul kinda guy, once he is hooked he isn’t leaving.
Batman: Batman goes through girls like he is trying to find the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. He has had a few long term girlfriends but before long he ends it because he can’t handle being Bruce Wayne and Batman at the same time.
Winner: Superman – Maybe it was because his birth parents ditched him, but the Man of Steel is really trying to find a home and he really has no intention of leaving anyone that will take him.
Superman: This is where his super-powers really work against him. I’m confident the guy can control his strength and speed normally, but if you are being controlled in the bedroom you are doing something wrong. If he does manage to relax, the whole thing will be over in a few seconds and his super sperm is likely shoot a hole clear though his girl.
Batman: He doesn’t really have powers to help him in the bedroom and I don’t really want to think of what gadgets he might try and use, but he is an expert of almost every kind of fighting style. The guy has some serious skill and flexibility and with all the girls he has been with, he is sure to have picked up a thing or two.
Winner: Batman – He has the moves and after a roll in the hay, the girl will actually be able alive to come back for seconds.
Superman: Clark has a surprisingly big family for an orphan. He has his adoptive parents, all his random cousins who seem to show up (Supergirl, Power Girl, ect.) and even his super powered dog. His family seems to constantly get in the way of Superman’s happiness and if it isn’t his adoptive parents being sick, it is his birth father’s ghost showing up to say how dissapointed he is in his son. Even if his prospect loves the idea of big family, she will have to get used to not having her own. Superman doesn’t have a kid and he isn’t likely to be able to father a kid without leaving the planet.
Batman: Batman’s parents are dead (actually dead without the whole ghost thing.) He doesn’t really have much else for family, other than his butler who raised him. Batman does have a son name Damian Wayne that he didn’t meet till he was almost a teenager and disappeared shortly after (great parenting there, Batman!) Damian is more or less insane and is about out likely to murder Batman’s girlfriend as he is to give her a hug.
Winner: Batman – Despite the fact he has a bastard son, his family is less likely to break up his relationship than Superman’s assorted craziness. In the long run, a crazy son is probably better than no kids at all.
Overall Winner: Batman
Bruce Wayne probably isn’t going to settle down anytime soon. He is way too into his job but you will look back on your short time as Batman’s girlfriend as the greatest time of your life. Superman is a close second, but Batman has got the mojo; even Aquaman is jealous.